Cinco de Mayo

Earlier today I was walking out of my bar when I ran into a friend who was on his way to get a margarita.  Why drinking so early in the day?  It's Cinco De Mayo that's why!  After I left the bar I went to the bank to make a deposit and when I was filling out my deposit slip I had to ask the bank teller what the day was "May 5th - Cinco De Mayo", she said.  I've never gotten why everyone in the state's celebrates Mexican Independence day till I learned a few minutes ago that it's not Mexican Independence day, it's the day an army of French bread carrying Frenchmen got beat by the Mexican Army.  According to Wikipedia:

"(Cinco de Mayo)... is a holiday held on May 5 that commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely victory over FrenchBattle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.^[2][3] It is celebrated primarily in the state of Puebla and in the United States.^[4][5][6][7] While Cinco de Mayo sees limited significance and celebration nationwide in Mexico, the date is observed nationwide in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.^[8]"

The article even states that Cinco de Mayo isn't even really celebrated in Mexico.  So half of you are thinking "wait...so all that happened on Cinco de Mayo is that the Mexican Army beat the French?  Who hasn't? (Well besides the United States - we've never fought the French)."  The other half is too drunk because it's Cinco de Mayo, another half knew all along why Cinco de Mayo is celebrated, and the remainder of you are questioning my math.

But back to Cinco de Mayo.   Not to take anything away from the brave Mexican force that beat a larger, better equipped French force but well...they were French.  Beating the French in combat is like litter training a cat.  You just throw a kitty in the litter box and they pretty much take care of themselves.  Maybe a bad analogy but what I'm trying to say is it doesn't take much, you just really have to be there.

Course it didn't matter too much that the Mexican army beat the French at Puebla, the French still ended up occupying Mexico a year later.  I guess it's like Nazi's celebrating the defeat of...well the French of World war II. 

Of course Cinco de Mayo isn't just about the French getting their ass kicked for the upteenth time - it's about celebrating Mexican culture and heritage.  It's also a chance for Americans to practice one of their most sacred cultural rituals - taking a foreign holiday and using it as an excuse to get absolutely wasted.  It's just like St. Patrick's Day except no one says "On Cinco de Mayo everyone is Mexican!"  Maybe it's a racial thing.  Personally I'd rather claim to be Mexican than ginger but that's just me.  Either way young adults across American regardless of heritage drink Cuervo and Corona to celebrate Mexican Indepen...whatever.  What better way is there to honor the brave men who died on May 5th, 1862, then to be completely ignorant of their struggle and drink margaritas.  Speaking of which, I got to finish my marg' and watch more King of the Hill on Netflix using my Roku player.  Happy Cinco de Mayo.