How to tell the future with Easy Mac

Since man could stand upright, he has tried to divine his future.  From the ancient Chinese fortune tellers who used turtle shells and dinosaur bones,  witches reading tea leafs and runes, fortune tellers have used a variety of methods to see the future.  These methods have proven so effective that we've used the wisdom of fortune tellers to prevent the Titanic from sinking, Pearl Harbor, the Bay of Pigs, and 9/11.  Psychic knowledge also allowed a quick evacuation of New Orleans before Katrina, Florida before Hurricane Andrew,  and most recently Haiti before their massive earthquake.  Oh wait...

So these methods suck.  There has to be a better way and after much reseach, I've uncovered it.  The secret to telling the future my friends, is Easy Mac.

Unknown to the hard working people at Kraft, you can use their cheap, easy meal not only to satisfy your cravings for mac and cheese but to predict who's going to win the ball game after dinner.  Below is how-to-guide on diving the future with The Mac.

Step 1: Empty Noodles into Bowl.

Step 2: Pour exactly 2/3 cup of water into bowl.  Make sure to measure from the bottom of the meniscus. 

Make sure your at eye level when taking your measurement.  Also if you can poor perfectly without having to add or dump out water of your measuring cup, your power of divination skill will increase +1 along with a +1 for luck.

Step 3: Microwave for 4 minutes.  As the mac cooks in the microwaves think about what you want to predict - will I do well on my test, will I get this job, will Sally go out on a date if I ask her, etc.  Concentrate on the mac but don't stare at the microwave.  It'll give you cancer.

Step 4: Remove bowl from microwave but be careful as the bowl may be hot.

Step 5:  Add the cheese quick and stir with a fork (Not a spoon, although after your reading of the noodles, you may eat it with a spoon).

Step 6:  Read the noodles.  After you've stirred in the cheese you will have one of three situations in front of you:

- The cheese did not mix well because most of the water evaporated.  This is the worst that                    can happen.  You're fucked or whatever you wanted to happen will not and there nothing you can do.  

- The mac is perfect.  Everything will turn out all right so apply for that job or ask Sally out, all will be well.

- The mac is too wet because not enough water evaporated.  This means that things won't turn out as you wanted but you can do somethings to try and make the situation better.  You can can try to drain some of the water but you may lose some of that cheesy goodness that mixed in with the water.  This means you can act to make the situation better but be cautious as a wrong move could ruin things.  You can also allow the mac to sit for a minute or two and some of the water will be absorbed.  This means that while things are bad, if you wait it out a bit the situation may improve a bit.  If there is way too much water for either method you may just be fucked.  Or you need a new microwave.

So go forth my friends, use the power of the mac wisely as knowing the future can be a dangerous thing.  A tasty, cheesy danger.