The Amorous Adventures of Ashida Kim and my Super Sexy Adventure

I don't always know what to blog about.  It can't always be about how I'm going to save a little cash or mopping floors which makes it challenging to blog everyday.  Every once and awhile though something falls in your lap and you have to share it with the world.  A special thanks to Keith, how you found this I don't know but I could write about it for weeks.  Ladies and gentlemen I present to you

The Amorous Adventures of Ashida Kim

From to DojoPress.com: 

"The Amorous Adventures of Ashida Kim is the chronicle of his fifth trip to Africa in the service of Yudansha International as an intelligence operative. His "cover story" at that time was being a "bouncer in a brothel." These are the tales of the ladies he met and helped during that turbulent period, that provide a glimpse into how the "real" world works, behind the scenes, inside the secret meetings, and how real warriors behave, regardless of the venue of their employment. As a first person narrative, it also provides a certain degree of insight into the mind of martial arts master and soldier of fortune- Ashida Kim. Rumor had it at one time that this property would be the screenplay for a soon to be released motion picture. Those plans did not materialize because of political considerations. The script, however, is still available."

Yep, apparently this is a true story.  According to Phil Elmore who actually read the book and reviewed it here, the story involves Ashida Kim being sent by ninja masters to South Africa to work as a bouncer at a brothel and if he can save the day he'll be allow to go take care of some other Ninja who went to Africa and opened a whore house instead of a karate dojo.  The usual ninja thing, you know pupil breaks from clan and opens whore house so the ninja clan sends the closest thing to Patrick Swayze they have to a different whore house to kick some ass and make some sweet love to some misguided prostitutes with daddy issues.  It's such a shame that "political considerations" kept this from becoming a movie.  Who wouldn't want to watch suave Ashida and some lovely hooker "...wrapped in the throws of passion, driving, thrusting deeper and harder than before, reaping the complete joy of our union..."

Dear God what is wrong with this man?  This is beyond bad.  Not the enjoyable Showdown in Little Tokyo bad, I'm talking really, really, really bad.  Not even Dolph Lundgren could save this book.

There is hope though.  Despite stating that "I am forbidden by law and convention from engaging in personal combat, since my hands and feet are considered lethal weapons," Ashida Kim is more then willing to accept a challenge and "...embarrass you in front of all your friends."  You just need to front $10,000.  And play by his rules.  Oh and you can't win $10,000 from him although he'll let you have a cut of the door since you'll be fighting at some kind of event center and it'll cost money to watch the fight.  Maybe I should start trying to raise money to fight Ashida Kim.  I can write a book to raise money.  The cover will probably look something like this: 

It'll be Super Sexy

For the complete review of this book go here

If for whatever terrible reason you want to buy it go here

For some other opinions on Ashida Kim go here or for a less serious take go here.  The last link has a fun video of Ashida trying to levitate.  Seriously he lifts his legs up and has a guy with a hula hoop try to show that he indeed is floating. 

I'll start training tomorrow for my fight with Ashida Kim.  Or sleep in, who knows...

I remain,

Damon