So You Think You Can Curl, Eh?

Read this article this morning.  Apparently those crazy Canadian curling fans made a huge ruckus and the Danish curler missed her shot.  Quoting the article:

"I could not control the weight on the last shot in the 10th. It should have been way slower, but when there are 6,000 people yelling, it's pretty hard to find out how hard you kick off. It's just so hard to focus. You're trying, but it's just not the same as if it was silent."

Really?  Lets start with the fact that these fans were Canadian.  These people can't be mean.  According to an article from the Denver Post, the worst heckling American Goalie Ryan Miller heard in the days before the Canada - USA game from Canadian fans was "Go Canada."  A Canadian heckler is like a baby holding a beer bottle.  They may be loud, there may be a few drops of alcohol in the bottle but it's all really harmless and actually pretty cute.

Yes, maybe they were loud but lets look at the activity at hand.  It's freaking curling the least challenging sport in the winter Olympics.  Remember when that guy died practicing on the luge?  How'd it feel to be anyone who went after him?  "I'm going to go really, really fast and if I screw up I may be flung over the track and die."  And someone is complaining about not being able to focus while sliding a rock across the ice because the most polite people on the face of the earth are making some noise.

Let's also consider all those other sports that require actual athletic ability.  Ever watch Payton Manning trying to direct traffic before the hike with 60,000 people screaming?  How about after the snap, he's got some huge 300 pound guy coming at him but he has to wait for the perfect moment to throw the ball, knowing full well whether he gets the throw off or not he's going to get creamed.

I guess my big beef is that curling is an Olympic sport.  I don't think any sport you can (and should) play with a beer in your hand should be in the Olympics.  Most Olympic athletes train hard developing near super human strength and skills while eating special diets and sleeping right.  Do you think you really have to hit the gym 7 days a week and count calories to be a win a gold in curling?  I shouldn't be able to look at an Olympic sport and say "eh I could do that if i practiced few times a week."  When I watch Shaun White do a double mctwist I think, "wow I'd break my neck if tried that."

Fortunately there is a way to end all of this curling nonsense.  As with all great evils, there is a source and if it is destroyed, the evil will be vanquished.  I'm of course talking about blowing up Aisla Craig, an island off the coast of Scotland and the only known place in the world to find the super hard granite used in curling stones called blue hone granite.  If we can destroy the supply of this mythical rock, curlers, frustrated with poor quality granite not suitable for sliding over ice will become disenchanted with the "sport" and move on to something else that doesn't require they give up their beer and sausage diet. 

How to sink Aisla Craig into the sea I don't, we're venturing into dangerous territory.  The power of rocks cannot be underestimated.  For more info on rocks, read my blog on the subject here .

It's my birthday, I'm going to drink and who knows maybe work on my curling.  The ground is covered in ice.  Anyone have some blue hone granite?

-Damon